This week I am participating in a self-portrait challenge extended by Ali Edwards called Pieces of Us. The idea is that each day of this week, there is a different prompt to follow as a lens for taking self-portraits. The goal of this project is to get the community thinking about stories related to our bodies, increasing self-love and appreciation for various parts of bodies, and getting more of ourselves in the story. You can learn all about it over on Ali’s blog.
Pieces of Us | Face Forward
This face is happy to feel the warmth of the sun beating down on it at the end of a walk this morning. This face is flush from wearing many layers while moving my body and the cold air kissing its cheeks. This face is much thinner than it was 2 years ago. This face is almost 40 years old, but I still think it looks much younger. This face shows deep smile lines that seem to move out in each direction forever. This face also hosts deep wrinkles at the brow line, probably from years of worry and anxiety taking a physical toll on my body. The wrinkles never bother me. I can’t imagine they ever will. They show that I have lived and loved and laughed a lot. What more could I ask for?
This is my face as it naturally exists and shows up every day. For many, many years, I was an every day makeup wearer. Not a lot of makeup, and quite subtle, but I spent time every morning “putting my face on”, as my grandmother used to say, to go out into the world. About a year a half ago, I started wondering what it would be like to go out without makeup. Could I do that? Whose permission did I need? Did I look weird without makeup? What would people think if they saw me without makeup on? How would I feel if I wasn’t wearing makeup? How worried would I be about what people were thinking or who might be judging me if I didn’t wear makeup? (Have I mentioned that I have a generalized anxiety disorder? Can you tell? 🙂 ) I spent so much time worrying about what people would think for a long while, then one day, I just didn’t care anymore. One day I mentioned to Shawn that I wasn’t wearing any makeup and he said he couldn’t tell the difference. I was shocked! How could he not see the difference? I could definitely tell there was a difference. Instead of being offended, as a younger version of myself may have been, I felt relieved! If he couldn’t tell the difference, most people probably couldn’t tell the difference. Not only that, but if the one person I cared most about looking good for didn’t mind one way or the other and thought I was beautiful just as I am, that’s good enough for me! I started going without makeup on the weekends, then a couple days out of the week I wouldn’t wear makeup to work, until, eventually, I was completely makeup free. Some days, I still wear makeup, sometimes for special occasions, other times just because I want to. But most days, I put on a little moisturizer and lip balm (no tint) and away I go. It has been so liberating! I love showing up as my true self every day and facing the world without worrying about what people might be thinking.
I always feel so great after a fresh haircut! I get my haircut every 4 weeks since it’s shaved on one side and short most of the way around it needs to be cared for pretty often. I went with this style about a year ago upon the urging of my stylist when I was looking for something new. I’ve had super short hair for the last 12 years, except for about a year and a half when I was growing out for my wedding. I’ve had the same stylist for 13 years. She’s amazing and I completely trust her. She’s the only person I trust with my hair and she takes really good care of me. This current style and color feels like it’s the perfect style for me. I feel the most like myself in this style than ever before in my life. No imposter here, just me rocking this sassy haircut and platinum blonde color!